A LETTER TO USHER: about the strippers in his video, and the men that praise them.

THE FOLLOWING IS PART OF A POWERFUL LETTER THAT Tony A. Gaskins Jr WROTE TO USHER, THE DANCERS IN HIS MUSIC VIDEO, AND A FEW OTHERS:

To the women confused at why men praise strippers: Listen to me. Those are not men. Those are grown-boys. Real men don’t prey on women, we pray for them. Real men will seek to understand the pain of that woman and help heal her heart, not perpetuate the cycle. Real men don’t long for love from a stripper who is struggling to love herself. Honestly, the thought of strip clubs makes my stomach hurt because I was once the man stripping the self-worth from women and I understand the behind the scenes pain.

It hurts me to see women being reinforced for being looked down on by men and treated like a piece of meat on an auction block. Real men feel for her and we want to see her want better for herself.

The men who praise and marry strippers, porn stars, escorts, and half-naked instagram models do not want a WIFE, they want a slave. They want a human teddy-bear who they can cuddle with when they are hurting, and then throw her up against a wall when they are mad. A human teddy bear has a heart but the man doesn’t care. He will invite other human teddy-bears into their bed and ask the main teddy-bear to share him with the new one. These men are so hurt, lost, and confused themselves that he wants a stripper/escort/half-naked model because he believes she is more lost than him. They know that a woman is on a pole because her self-worth and her self-esteem was stripped from her at a young age. They prey on that weakness because they are weak. When you see a man get with a stripper, don’t feel like you’ve lost a good man. You’ve just lost a grown-boy.

Pray for that woman because that man is going to drive her insane and ruin her life. He is going to make her life a living hell on Earth and she will wish that she was single. She will want to leave but she won’t know how to leave, just as she’s been wanting to leave the pole but didn’t know how to leave. We can’t hate her. You can’t envy her. You have to pray for her. Speak into her life and hope that one day it sinks in.

Pray for the grown-boys too, but sadly those same grown-boys know what they are doing most of the time. They know they are weak hearted but they don’t want to be strong. They know they are immature but they don’t want to mature. To mature takes too much discipline. To be faithful to one woman is lame to them. It means you’re a square if you’re faithful. They can barely please one woman, but they want two. The first woman hasn’t been pleased a single day since she’s been with him but he has the nerve to want to bring another one home. Today, understand his pain. Understand his confusion. Understand his misery. Pray for him. Don’t hate him. Speak life into him. Send this blog to everyone of them you see online. He knows he needs to change, and hopefully soon he will be ready.

To the general public: We have to stop supporting this trash music. Send a tweet to the artist and tell him/her that song is trash. Let him know you don’t like it or appreciate it. He cares. She cares. They care. They all care. They are human beings. I heard Trey Songz make a positive song once and I heard it on the radio. I bet he made it because he read too many tweets telling him to sing about something other than taking somebody’s girl and his love making skills.

Pay attention to the music your kids and your students are listening to. Music has POWER!! Jeezy and Plies music almost killed me! I let it raise me. Their songs were my blueprint for the streets. That’s all everybody in the streets of Florida listened to. We all had guns. We all were plotting. We all were trying to come up like they did and we were too ignorant to know that what we were doing isn’t what they did to get where they were at that time. Music has power. There will be those wanna be intellectuals who claim music doesn’t affect them and that it’s just music. Tell that to an artist. It’s more than just music. It’s an art form. It’s a platform. It’s a way to express yourself. They aren’t doing it for fun. It’s their livelihood. They are slaves to a beat and a melody. It’s more than just music. It’s life. It shapes culture. It gives direction to the world. We are a reflection of our most popular music. These men of today have tattoos only because their favorite artists are their role models. The ones who don’t have tattoos it’s because they chose a different role model. I was soft hearted but I got all my tattoos because of Tyrese in that “Sweet Lady” video I think it was in 2002 or something. I was copying him because he had women and I wanted women like him. I’m man enough to admit it. These other men are doing the same thing but they won’t tell you that’s it’s because they saw another man with it. They want to believe they woke up and just wanted to do it for themselves. Bruh, STOP!!

We have to do better as a society. We have to stop reinforcing and praising filth. We have to be more active in the lives of our kids. We have to sacrifice our own desires to show our youth the right way to go. I know you might want to listen to some of that stripper music but if your kids are in the backseat listening to it too, you are teaching them who their role models should be. And it’s not you. Listen to the music if you want to, but then turn it down and explain the song and how the message is backwards. Explain to the youth the problems with the music and teach them how to reject the messages the same way you claim that you do.

But truthfully, you’re not really rejecting all of the messages. The music you listen to is dictating your mood. A lot of you singles are so desperate for love because you’re listening to Usher, Chris, Trey, and Drake all day. You can’t tell me that you can listen to them all day and not want you some loving. Men and women are being raised by artists who don’t have any raising themselves. The artists becomes your momma and daddy. They become the reason for your mood swings. Pay attention to it next time. Each time you hear a song it makes you feel a certain way. It triggers certain thoughts and it dictates your life.

I don’t listen to unhealthy music unless I’m studying it so I can refute the messages.
Check what you’re listening to. “Your input will determine your output and your output will determine your income.”

Bless you,
Tony G.

http://www.tonygaskinsblog.com/…/usher-doesnt-mind-but-i-do…

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LOVE, the GOD kind

One of my most precious moments in Russia was with a young girl who had mental illness due to years of trauma and abuse and she was also pregnant with one of the abusers baby.  I remember how she let me show love to her despite those who said she would not let anyone close to her.  The whole weekend at this particular village she snuggled up to me and let me hold her and she would come sit next to me at random times and put her head on my shoulder.  Even though there was a language barrier and there was not really any verbal communication… its like she knew I was safe and didn’t judge her. I was able to show her the love of God without even saying a word and I realized in that moment that this is a true picture of our Heavenly Father.  He is a safe place to come and rest, He is not judging us, and He is full of unconditional love amidst our mess.
I know not everyone agrees with my message but I believe much of that is a result of God being misrepresented… by the church, by people, and by the rest of the world.  Some people seem to think Jesus was this great guy but that God the Father is off somewhere in the sky looking down shaking His head in disgust and anger. But that is SO NOT true! Jesus is the EXACT representation of the Father (John 14:7)  and the more I learn about the Fathers love and His heart it absolutely baffles me that people don’t want to know Him like this.  I understand that you cannot miss what you’ve never had, and you cannot live in truth when you are believing a lie.
God is so amazing though, He can see into a persons heart, He knows what they have been though… and He understands.  He understands pain more than anyone.  Whether we want to admit it or not, we have all been hurt in some capacity….  and that is why God is always working in our lives to reveal the truth of who He really is.
I can’t explain why everything happens the way that it does but I know much of it has to do with the fact that we live in a fallen world.  We let the world dictate our decisions instead of Gods Word.  We allow sin into our lives and then we blame God when it goes wrong.  To add to the confusion: our friends, family, and “religion” hurt us and let us down and then we expect God to be the same way…. But He isn’t.  Our failed human relationships do not reflect Gods character, yet many still compare them.
Gods love is SO big and so intense that I don’t think we will ever fully understand it… and nothing we do can ever separate us from it! Think about that…  Nothing we do will ever separate us from His love (Romans 8:39).  If people truly meditated on that last sentence/scripture and BELIEVED it…we could put “religion” out of business! (Hallelujah)  The greatest demonstration of love ever known to man was when Jesus went to the cross for us… there is NO greater LOVE and our debt has been paid.  It is finished.
(JOHN 3:16-16) For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life. For God did not send the Son into the world to judge the world, but that the world might be saved through Him.

GOD IS A HEART GOD

Every single person in every walk of life is going through some kind of difficulty, and God places us in each others lives to love, comfort and encourage.  Unfortunately we sometimes put unreal expectations on others to fill a need that only God is intended to fulfill.  If we don’t receive the response we are looking for, we speak and react from a place of past wounding.  People who are hurting inside have a tendency to also hurt people, especially the ones closest to them.. sometimes without even realizing.  If the root has not properly been dealt with, it will eventually arise and usually at the most improper time.  Whatever we keep locked up in our heart will eventually come out. (LUKE 6:45) says “out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks”  Our words (((and sometimes lack of words))) can be damaging and have lasting effects. Many times each person involved has past wounds that have not properly been dealt with and therefore may react out of fear, insecurity, and rejection.  Unfortunately many people think it is easier to dispose of a relationship and just walk away rather than to deal with the core issue.  This only causes the wound to grow bigger and deeper and puts even more of an unreal expectation onto the next person/relationship.  After all is said and done, we put on a tough exterior acting as if everything is fine, but inside we are completely broken.  Did you ever have something happen that wasn’t really that big of a deal, but your whole world seemed to fall apart and crumble when it happened?  It comes from a damaged heart with untended wounds…
We need to know that God places people and relationships in our life for a great purpose.  We are called to love one another, showing grace and mercy to each other, edifying and building one another up.  Unfortunately many of us, including myself, need some work in this area to say the least.  If someone hurts us, the first thing we should do is forgive them and pray for God to heal the wound.  Ask God to shine His beautiful light into the dark places that will expose any lies we may be believing, or any areas that we may not be fully trusting in Him.  Ignoring deep seated heart wounds can causes triggers, and condition us to react from the place of wounding.  The longer a wounded heart goes without being dealt with, the bigger the reaction can be and the more damage that can be incurred to a relationship.  If you are the one who has created a wound or contributed to an existing wound, it is very importantly that you forgive yourself but also be willing to hear the other persons concerns.  Having a tender and understanding heart can be critical to any relationship whether you believe you were right or wrong.  Each person involved should ask God AND each other for forgiveness.  Also, we should always ask God to reveal any places where we may need improvement for growth so that we can be better:  friends, family and spouses.
God knows more than anyone what it is like to have His heart broken and to have love stolen from Him. He was in perfect fellowship and relationship with Adam and Eve back in the garden of  Eden. It was ulitimate bliss… but then the deceiver came along and they started to believe his lies.  This caused the separation.  In Gods infinite love for us He sent Jesus to restore us and bring us back into perfect relationship with Him.  (2 Cor 5:17-18)
GOD IS A HEART GOD… He is the Healer, Builder and Restorer of relationship. Always remember that relationships of every kind take work.  And the best relationships are the ones that consist of two really good forgivers… because that is the heart of Jesus – to forgive.  Keep God involved at evey level in your relationships, and don’t throw away what He has given to you as a gift.
Romans 12:10 (GW) Be devoted to each other like a loving family. Excel in showing respect for each other.
1 Peter 4:8 (AMP) Above all things have intense and unfailing love for one another, for love covers a multitude of sins [forgives and disregards the offenses of others].
Ephesians 4:29 (AMP) Let no foul or polluting language, nor evil word nor unwholesome or worthless talk [ever] come out of your mouth, but only such [speech] as is good and beneficial to the spiritual progress of others, as is fitting to the need and the occasion, that it may be a blessing and give grace (God’s favor) to those who hear it.

GUARDING THE CHILDRENS HEART

Earlier this week I was teaching the 4-5 grade girls at my church about scriptures in the bible on the heart.  After teaching the girls they went to play in the gym and upon returning back to class a few of the girls were singing a song from the radio and I noticed the words. They were singing about a boy who was asking dishonoring questions to the girl.  So I asked the girls what they were singing and as they proceeded to giggle and tell me the disrespecting words, I asked if they thought the song was appropriate? One of the girls responded by telling me that boys and relationships don’t ever work out anyway. She seemed to have a negative attitude about the whole thing. When asked how many relationships she had been in (just to make a point) she put her hand up to form a zero. I then reminded the class about what they had just been taught. This was a great opportunity for me to use this as an example about how important it is to guard what we allow ourselves to listen to and watch on televison.
Proverbs 4:23 tells us to guard our heart with all diligence for out of it flows the springs of life. God had a reason for telling us to guard what we allow in, because what we allow in takes root and eventually comes out. The heart is the central processing unit, more than the mind. The mind follows what is in the heart. It only takes a few lyrics to plant seeds into our childrens hearts that will cause them to form opinions, thoughts and attitudes based on what they are listening to or watching.  We are ALL supposed to guard our eyes and ears as to what we allow in, but especially our children because they are so delicate and impressionable. Adding to the fact that our words have power and when we sing negative things (possibly not even realizing that we have a tune in our head) we can be speaking curses over our own life  – Proverbs 18:21 says that death and life are in the power of our tongue (which is our speech) and that we will eat the fruit of it. It is a fact that people who constantly speak negative – have negativity all around them, and people who are encouraging and positive – always have joy. There is even scientific proof about the power and effect our words have.
Hollywood reality shows like The Kardashians and many magazines are already planting negative seeds into our childrens hearts by portraying that girls need to look a certain way, which causes identity issues.  Plastic surgery is higher than ever before in history because the world shouts that no one is good enough the way they are. This causes roots of insecurity at a very young age.  Not only are teens and children influenced and enticed by Hollywood and celebrities but many parents are as well, helping form these negative self image patterns.
Since the heart is mentioned over 800 times in the bible, I believe it is something God wants us to pay very special attention to. We should give priority into teaching our children that their identity is in Christ and who He says they are. Ephesians 2:10 says that we are His masterpiece. We should teach them that they are made in His image of perfection and that the bible and Jesus is their mirror NOT the Victoria Secret models. When we raise our children knowing who they truly are and that they are loved no matter what, the world will not be able to influence them with all its negative darts to the heart.
Thought to consider: If plastic surgery, money and celebrity status could buy happiness and inner contentment, then why are so many celebrities battling alcohol and drug addictions?  And why then are so many relationships/marriages disposable?
Yet this is what the ‘world’ glorifies…
1 Corinthians 3:18-19 (MSG) Don’t fool yourself. Don’t think that you can be wise merely by being up-to-date with the times. Be God’s fool—that’s the path to true wisdom. What the world calls smart, God calls stupid.
Mark 4:19 (AMP) Then the cares and anxieties of the world and distractions of the age, and the pleasure and delight and false glamour and deceitfulness of riches, and the craving and passionate desire for other things creep in and choke and suffocate the Word, and it becomes fruitless.
Mark 8:36 (KJV) For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?