THE FOLLOWING IS PART OF A POWERFUL LETTER THAT Tony A. Gaskins Jr WROTE TO USHER, THE DANCERS IN HIS MUSIC VIDEO, AND A FEW OTHERS:
To the women confused at why men praise strippers: Listen to me. Those are not men. Those are grown-boys. Real men don’t prey on women, we pray for them. Real men will seek to understand the pain of that woman and help heal her heart, not perpetuate the cycle. Real men don’t long for love from a stripper who is struggling to love herself. Honestly, the thought of strip clubs makes my stomach hurt because I was once the man stripping the self-worth from women and I understand the behind the scenes pain.
It hurts me to see women being reinforced for being looked down on by men and treated like a piece of meat on an auction block. Real men feel for her and we want to see her want better for herself.
The men who praise and marry strippers, porn stars, escorts, and half-naked instagram models do not want a WIFE, they want a slave. They want a human teddy-bear who they can cuddle with when they are hurting, and then throw her up against a wall when they are mad. A human teddy bear has a heart but the man doesn’t care. He will invite other human teddy-bears into their bed and ask the main teddy-bear to share him with the new one. These men are so hurt, lost, and confused themselves that he wants a stripper/escort/half-naked model because he believes she is more lost than him. They know that a woman is on a pole because her self-worth and her self-esteem was stripped from her at a young age. They prey on that weakness because they are weak. When you see a man get with a stripper, don’t feel like you’ve lost a good man. You’ve just lost a grown-boy.
Pray for that woman because that man is going to drive her insane and ruin her life. He is going to make her life a living hell on Earth and she will wish that she was single. She will want to leave but she won’t know how to leave, just as she’s been wanting to leave the pole but didn’t know how to leave. We can’t hate her. You can’t envy her. You have to pray for her. Speak into her life and hope that one day it sinks in.
Pray for the grown-boys too, but sadly those same grown-boys know what they are doing most of the time. They know they are weak hearted but they don’t want to be strong. They know they are immature but they don’t want to mature. To mature takes too much discipline. To be faithful to one woman is lame to them. It means you’re a square if you’re faithful. They can barely please one woman, but they want two. The first woman hasn’t been pleased a single day since she’s been with him but he has the nerve to want to bring another one home. Today, understand his pain. Understand his confusion. Understand his misery. Pray for him. Don’t hate him. Speak life into him. Send this blog to everyone of them you see online. He knows he needs to change, and hopefully soon he will be ready.
To the general public: We have to stop supporting this trash music. Send a tweet to the artist and tell him/her that song is trash. Let him know you don’t like it or appreciate it. He cares. She cares. They care. They all care. They are human beings. I heard Trey Songz make a positive song once and I heard it on the radio. I bet he made it because he read too many tweets telling him to sing about something other than taking somebody’s girl and his love making skills.
Pay attention to the music your kids and your students are listening to. Music has POWER!! Jeezy and Plies music almost killed me! I let it raise me. Their songs were my blueprint for the streets. That’s all everybody in the streets of Florida listened to. We all had guns. We all were plotting. We all were trying to come up like they did and we were too ignorant to know that what we were doing isn’t what they did to get where they were at that time. Music has power. There will be those wanna be intellectuals who claim music doesn’t affect them and that it’s just music. Tell that to an artist. It’s more than just music. It’s an art form. It’s a platform. It’s a way to express yourself. They aren’t doing it for fun. It’s their livelihood. They are slaves to a beat and a melody. It’s more than just music. It’s life. It shapes culture. It gives direction to the world. We are a reflection of our most popular music. These men of today have tattoos only because their favorite artists are their role models. The ones who don’t have tattoos it’s because they chose a different role model. I was soft hearted but I got all my tattoos because of Tyrese in that “Sweet Lady” video I think it was in 2002 or something. I was copying him because he had women and I wanted women like him. I’m man enough to admit it. These other men are doing the same thing but they won’t tell you that’s it’s because they saw another man with it. They want to believe they woke up and just wanted to do it for themselves. Bruh, STOP!!
We have to do better as a society. We have to stop reinforcing and praising filth. We have to be more active in the lives of our kids. We have to sacrifice our own desires to show our youth the right way to go. I know you might want to listen to some of that stripper music but if your kids are in the backseat listening to it too, you are teaching them who their role models should be. And it’s not you. Listen to the music if you want to, but then turn it down and explain the song and how the message is backwards. Explain to the youth the problems with the music and teach them how to reject the messages the same way you claim that you do.
But truthfully, you’re not really rejecting all of the messages. The music you listen to is dictating your mood. A lot of you singles are so desperate for love because you’re listening to Usher, Chris, Trey, and Drake all day. You can’t tell me that you can listen to them all day and not want you some loving. Men and women are being raised by artists who don’t have any raising themselves. The artists becomes your momma and daddy. They become the reason for your mood swings. Pay attention to it next time. Each time you hear a song it makes you feel a certain way. It triggers certain thoughts and it dictates your life.
I don’t listen to unhealthy music unless I’m studying it so I can refute the messages.
Check what you’re listening to. “Your input will determine your output and your output will determine your income.”